


diya

by AllegoriesInMediasRes



Series: Ramayana fics [37]
Category: Ramayana - Valmiki
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Lamps, Minor Illness, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllegoriesInMediasRes/pseuds/AllegoriesInMediasRes
Summary: A single guttering candle is all Rama can abide while on his sickbed.The sight of you is repugnant to me as a lamp is to one whose eye is diseased.Post-canon.
Relationships: Rama & Luv & Kush, Rama/Sita (Ramayana)
Series: Ramayana fics [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1105638
Kudos: 5





	diya

**Author's Note:**

> Accompanying [edit](https://allegoriesinmediasres.tumblr.com/post/631019754874912768) on Tumblr.

A single guttering candle is all Rama can abide while on his sickbed. His whole body is afflicted with aches and pains, but those in his eyes are the worst. The lamp flickers and casts the whole room into shadows. He blinks furiously.

_The sight of you is repugnant to me…_

It had been painful to look at Sita, after she stepped out of the palanquin into the crowd of _vanaras,_ to be reminded of how he had failed her. He knew the rumors that would swirl about her, society’s bone-deep beliefs about women’s purity, and he had spoken the words. They were cruel, and calculated to get her to prove her chastity and her reputation beyond all doubt. But as soon as he had spoken them, he saw her face turn white with shock, the rigid line of her jaw, pain blooming in her eyes.

She had the same countenance years later, when he asked her once more, right before she decided to perform _bhumipravesh_ rather than another _agnipariksha._

_… as a lamp is to one whose eye is diseased._

Rama is a king. He has ruled, even when he wanted to rend the earth apart with a single arrow, when he wanted it to swallow him up as well. He has sat on his throne and ruled, has been a father to two dispirited boys already half-grown. Luv and Kush are model princes who touch their father’s feet without fail, praise him to anyone who will listen, and never look him in the eye. Kosala has flourished, and people are calling his rule _Ram Rajyam_ , speculating that this will be an era of unprecedented prosperity. No hunger, no grief, no sickness.

There is a wide gulf between reality and what people say, and illness still exists under Rama’s reign. He himself has fallen prey to it. The physicians say it is a passing thing; he is not as young as he once was, and doesn’t always take care of himself. He will recover, they promise, but for now, he is confined to his chambers. 

The flame flares suddenly, and it leaves spots in his vision. For a moment, he thinks he glimpses a figure at the foot of his bed, clad in simple saffron. 

“Janaki?” he whispers.

The lamp flutters again. He winces.

He is alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> The italicized line is from the Yuddha Khand, spoken by Rama to Sita after she is rescued and right before her Agni Pariksha.


End file.
